Thanks so much for this gorgeous piece of writing. I loved how you describe rediscovery, how it sneaks up on you, and I love the idea of "anchors" to keep you grounded to yourself. I can really relate to this process of rediscovering and rewiring yourself. Thank you for sharing your insights <3
Thank you so much for your message, Christine. It means a lot to hear that you could see yourself in what I wrote. It’s such a gift to share something vulnerable and feel it land with someone. Thank you for taking the time to write <3
This hits very close to home. I have lost myself many times, but never have I rediscovered her. Or, really known her in the first place. I switch between auto pilot, the numbness and realisation only to sink back to the beginning despite my best intentions.
This feeling you describe, of not really knowing her in the first place, it's something I’ve carried with me for most of my life. I’ve felt so alone in that. Everyone else seemed to know themselves, so why was it so hard for me?
I’ve never felt like my identity was clearly defined. But over these past few years - spending a lot of time alone, getting to know myself - I’ve started to see the difference between who I was taught to be and who I actually want to be. It’s an ongoing process, and honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever fully know who I am. I’m not sure any of us will.
But I’m starting to see the beauty in that. It's a constant process of learning from the world around us and actively choosing how we want to show up in the world.
But I see you and hear you. The fact that you read this essay, felt something, and even took the time to write a comment, that’s not autopilot. That’s awareness. That’s presence. That’s something in you reaching toward yourself. And maybe you’re just not ready to make big changes yet - and that’s okay. Sometimes we have to sit with it first. Let ourselves feel what’s true, even if we’re not acting on it yet.
I really believe there are already tiny steps happening - just the quiet kind. And one day, without even noticing, you’ll realize you’ve moved. <3
Thanks so much for this gorgeous piece of writing. I loved how you describe rediscovery, how it sneaks up on you, and I love the idea of "anchors" to keep you grounded to yourself. I can really relate to this process of rediscovering and rewiring yourself. Thank you for sharing your insights <3
Thank you so much for your message, Christine. It means a lot to hear that you could see yourself in what I wrote. It’s such a gift to share something vulnerable and feel it land with someone. Thank you for taking the time to write <3
This hits very close to home. I have lost myself many times, but never have I rediscovered her. Or, really known her in the first place. I switch between auto pilot, the numbness and realisation only to sink back to the beginning despite my best intentions.
This feeling you describe, of not really knowing her in the first place, it's something I’ve carried with me for most of my life. I’ve felt so alone in that. Everyone else seemed to know themselves, so why was it so hard for me?
I’ve never felt like my identity was clearly defined. But over these past few years - spending a lot of time alone, getting to know myself - I’ve started to see the difference between who I was taught to be and who I actually want to be. It’s an ongoing process, and honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever fully know who I am. I’m not sure any of us will.
But I’m starting to see the beauty in that. It's a constant process of learning from the world around us and actively choosing how we want to show up in the world.
But I see you and hear you. The fact that you read this essay, felt something, and even took the time to write a comment, that’s not autopilot. That’s awareness. That’s presence. That’s something in you reaching toward yourself. And maybe you’re just not ready to make big changes yet - and that’s okay. Sometimes we have to sit with it first. Let ourselves feel what’s true, even if we’re not acting on it yet.
I really believe there are already tiny steps happening - just the quiet kind. And one day, without even noticing, you’ll realize you’ve moved. <3