The Broken Compass

An essay for the ones searching for a path they can’t yet see.

You’re standing at a crossroad deep in the forest. The wind is howling, tugging at your clothes. It seems to be pulling you in every direction. But you stand firm, like you’re frozen in time, even though you feel a sensation deep in your bones. The urge to move.

You know you’re not where you want to be, but…

Where is your path? Has it been hidden by tiny trolls? Do you need to go through a portal to find it? Is there a secret ritual you’re missing out on? Maybe the entrance only appears to those bold { or foolish } enough to sprint headfirst into a concrete wall?

Your thoughts are distracted by loud shouting, echoing through the stillness of the ancient forest. How on earth did the preachers find their way out here, you ask yourself—cursing them for robbing you of your sanctuary. The shouting is getting louder, and you can now make out what’s being said:

“Follow your dream! Find your true calling! Unlock your full potential!”

You find yourself rolling your eyes. That damned advice once again. They always make it sound so shiny and easy. Like the dream is a glowing treasure chest, just waiting for you to lift the lid.

But what if you don’t even know where the damn chest is?
What if you’re not sure you even own one?
What if your heart isn’t whispering secret instructions through the wind?
What if the fireflies don’t blink in silent constellations telling you where to go
What if the only thing you’ve been granted in life is an inner compass, frantically spinning in every direction? A tiny needle, bouncing around like it’s lost its mind?

Well. I’m here to tell you that it’s completely normal.

Sometimes people tell stories of how they just knew their calling from day one. Like it was written in neon lights above their heads or handed to them like a sealed pact at birth. But those stories are just the ones that make headlines. They’re instagrammable, click bait—call it what you will.

It’s not that thrilling to read an article that says, “HEY! I spent 15 years being fucking confused, but NOW I think I might have something! I guess?”

But for most of us, the path just isn’t so clear. It definitely wasn’t for me. It was messy, winding, full of dead ends and detours. And honestly, it still is.

I believe that the compass we use to guide us through life isn’t something that’s just handed over. It isn’t something we find out there. It’s something we slowly build. And over time, we will have built the greatest compass of all.

The one that lives within.

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For many, many years, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. At all.

I felt like I had no purpose. And more importantly: I felt like I’d never find it.

I spent so many years walking every forest thin, searching for hidden entrances, secret portals and at last, simply wishing for a dragon to come and sweep me away to some castle faraway.

{ Sadly, that didn’t happen }

I remember having these deep, existential conversations with everyone I met. The question that kept escaping me was: “What is the meaning of life?”

They would all look at me, startled. It was too deep a question for them. But also one they didn’t have an answer to.

But I simply didn’t understand. I didn’t understand how to go on with life—just existing—for no reason at all? I didn’t understand how people who seemed to feel life had purpose had actually found it?

I didn’t know who to be, where to go, what to do. Nothing felt fulfilling. Everything just felt like me trying to squeeze myself into yet another box where I didn’t belong.

I spent over 15 years in that space. Climbing into box after box. Pondering so hard my brain almost couldn’t keep up. It created a deep inner chaos — a feeling of being a total mess, a shattered self, and isolating thoughts that no one understood ⟨ or so I thought ⟩.

I was questioning everything. Searching for something I didn’t even know what was. Was I looking for fireflies? A dragon? A concrete wall? Who took my map? Why did everyone else have one? What is going on?

Maybe you’re standing at that crossroad too. Wondering where the hell your map is. Discovering tiny glimpses of purpose, only to watch them dissolve as quickly as they appeared. Always left wondering:

Where should I go? Why is nothing making sense?

And if you’re in that place right now, I see you. I truly see you.

It’s such a difficult place to be — knowing you’re not where you want to be, but having absolutely no clue where to go.

It’s like you’re turned upside down in a labyrinth with no way out. Like the map is written in an ancient language you have no idea how to decode, with burn holes everywhere. It’s a chamber hidden deep underground where you isolate yourself, because everyone keeps asking questions you don’t know how to answer. And they keep giving solutions that cause more chaos than calm.

Love, I see you.

If all you need today is to be validated: stop reading at the line below.

Sometimes you don’t need advice. Sometimes you just need someone to say: “I see you.” And I do.

Allow yourself to sink those shoulders, breathe out the weight you’ve been carrying, and release the pressure of having to figure it all out right now at this very moment. Know that what you’re going through is so human, and that you’re not the only one who has ever felt this way.

Take a moment for yourself. Let the noise fade and let everything become still.

You don’t need to figure everything out right at this instant. You’re allowed to be confused. You’re allowed to be a mess. You’re allowed to walk in circles.

Save the rest of this for the day when you do need some advice — when the pressure has lifted and you don’t feel like screaming at the world.

I’ll still be here then.

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But if you’re in desperate need of some guidance, let me try to turn a light on in the dark.

Here’s what I’ve learned after 15 years on a { very } chaotic searching quest:

We have to move.

Even if we have no idea which direction to go.

It actually doesn’t matter where you go, and it doesn’t matter if it’s tiny baby steps.

Movement is all that matters.

Everything I’ve done these last 15 years wasn’t it for me.

Shadowing a forensic anthropologist and a criminal defense attorney, starting a beauty blog, getting a Master of Laws degree, working in fashion stores, production companies, as a social media manager, at the Danish police, at a land surveying company, etc.

None of those were it.

But they were steps. Movement. It was me walking all over the map. Heading north, only to head south the next day. Walking in circles. Doing things I know wasn’t right over and over again. Just to make sure. To get well-acquainted with my own inner compass—which I for many years believed was broken.

And now, all of these pieces are gathered in the work I do through MARIA BÆK ART.

But does this mean that I have figured it out? That I now have my purpose?

Nope.

But! The foundation has been laid out. I now have some pillars in the ground. And that’s a good place to start. But this can go in every direction possible. It’s ever-evolving, just as I am.

I’ve accepted that the journey is a mess. I’m a mess. I’ve actually come to like that about myself. But for 15 years, I hated it. I hated that I didn’t know what to do.

Now it makes sense that nothing makes sense.

Because it’s always just been my inner compass that I’ve been following around. My heart that’s been pulling me in every direction. Because it didn’t know either. So we had to figure it out. Together.

Now, I enjoy wandering around, sometimes walking in circles. Because I know now that every step I take gets me closer to myself—closer to home.

The best advice I can give is asking yourself:

What do I enjoy? What feels fun? What speaks to my curiosity?

Try taking some baby steps in that direction.

And then spend some time with yourself. Allow everything around you to become quiet and still. Maybe through meditation or walks in nature with no stimulation. Or simply staring at the sky. It’s in the quiet those tiny whispers live. And they’re impossible to hear with all the constant noise.

Life, for me, is not about finding the dream. It’s about becoming someone who can live in the unknown, and yet still feel at home there. A person who is guided by mystery, curiosity and dares to follow secret portal entrances. Who builds castles—and then burns them down. Who keeps searching, and following the whispers deep inside.

The best thing you can do right now is not to search out there — it is to go within.

To create a connection so deep, that you’ll always know when your compass is whispering. And then to be brave enough to follow it.

And then slowly…

The wind will whisper gently in your ear.
”Go south”, it’ll say.
You’ll giggle.
South is your heart —
what a magnificent piece of advice.

Maybe tomorrow,
you’ll lean close to the pond,
listening for whispers from its depths —
secrets hidden beneath still waters,
waiting patiently to be found.
And if it’s not ready to tell yet,
maybe you’ll find yourself heading north.

Not to your human brain
—the one who pollutes everything—
but toward open skies and endless stars.
Where your dreams spread their wings,
and everything is possible.

But what will happen if you ask the fireflies?
What will they say?
Where will they guide you?
What if they blink in silent constellations —
pointing nowhere… and everywhere?

What a mystery this human life is —
a vast expanse of whispers and secrets.
Yet no matter the paths you wander,
the stars you chase, or the depths you seek,
the true compass you must trust
is the one beating within your own heart.

From the Tower of Dreams at the Castle of Wonders,
Maria

© MARIA BÆK ART