Doubts and dreams

An essay about when someone close to you doubts your dreams.

Apr 13, 2025

Many of us have been trained to be “the good girl”.
To do “the right thing.”
To do “the responsible thing.”

We learned very early on how to please, perform and perfect. But what really happened was that we learned to shrink and to behave. To say “thank you” instead of “no, thank you.”

And honestly, I don’t think it was our fault…

We could blame social norms, society, school, parents, culture. All the usual suspects.
I think it’s fair to say that they’re the ones who installed the wrong software in us from the start.

But — and I know this might sting a little — you’re the only one responsible for not uninstalling it.

Stay with me here. I’m not your enemy.
I’m on your side.

Well, I’m on your dream’s side.
So if you’re not believing in it, I’ve got a thing or two to say.

Flushing dreams down the drain to keep things in check

Let’s just call it like it is:
Society kills most dreams.

Not always on purpose and not always instantly. But it does happen. Slowly, quietly, with rules and routines and expectations so tight, we forget to ask what we actually want.

And it takes a hell of a lot of willpower to swim against that current.
To say: “F*ck it. My dream matters. And you’re standing in the way. Move.”

But some actually do. Despite all of the noise, doubt and fear.

And if you’re one of them — or trying to be — this is for you.

When doubt creeps in

The thing nobody really talks about is that te hardest kind of doubt doesn’t come from strangers. It comes from people you love.

From the ones who’ve seen you cry, or laugh so hard you snort, or dance like an idiot in the kitchen because the world felt okay for a second. From the ones in your inner circle.

What do you do when they don’t believe in your dream?

First of all, you cry. Because that’s fucking hard.

One thing is dealing with the doubts and fears of the outside world. You can block that. Ignore it. Walk away.

But what about the people you can’t just ctrl+alt+delete from your life?
The ones who sleep next to you, or raised you, or text you every Sunday?

The dream virus

Let me offer you my theory:
Most people don’t doubt your dream because it’s impossible. They doubt it because they couldn’t imagine it for themselves.

They’re still running the latest society-approved software, and you’re trying to break the fucking code.

And that makes them uncomfortable. Of course it does!

Because your courage pokes at their fear, and your longing reminds them of their own. Your dream is literally a virus in their perfect system. But they just don’t have the antivirus installed yet.

So they try to shut you down. Calm you down. Say { stupid } things like “be realistic.”
(Spoiler alert: That’s code for “don’t make me uncomfortable by doing what I didn’t dare.”)

And it’s okay to feel sad for them. You honestly should. They’re not bad people. They’re just very fucking trapped.

But you? You’re free.

So fly, love. Go make art. Open that café. Write the book. Book the flight. Quit the job. Start the YouTube channel. Send the text.

Whatever it is, it’s possible. I promise.

Believe like a child

Children don’t sit around asking if their dreams are too big. They just dream. And they do it out loud, unapologetically, with glitter in their hair and peanut butter on their shirt.

That’s the kind of belief I want for you, too.

Because you’re not wrong for dreaming. You’re not naive. You’re not irresponsible. You’re awake.

And you know what happens when you wake up in a room full of sleeping people?

They get so fucking pissed. Because your light turns on all the things they’ve hidden in the dark. Their own forgotten dreams and their own buried “what ifs.”

So yes, your dream might scare the hell out of them. And yes, it might even cost you something — comfort, approval, predictability etc.

But it will give you something far greater: Truth. Soul. Freedom.

Keep going anyway

So if someone close to you doesn’t believe in your dream, remember this:

It’s not a sign to stop dreaming.
It’s a sign to be even fucking louder.

To build something and to commit to it. One day, if they’re lucky, they’ll understand. They’ll see you, living your dream, and they will realize you weren’t crazy. You were so incredibly brave.

And you already are right now, this second, for allowing yourself to carry your dream inside that precious heart of yours.

So please, my love, keep going.

And next time someone doubts your dream, smile and say:
“I get it. You’re still sleeping. But I’m wide awake.”